being in the philippines could be so interesting for my love life. for one, i get hit on randomly by filipino men all the time. “hit on” isn’t even the right word, since it connotes the aggressive act of trying to get a date with someone. what ends up happening is that sweet looking young men at restaurants and the like end up gazing longingly into my eyes while grinning ear to ear. i feel utterly preposterous, for the both of us, like we are on the verge of breaking out in song and dance at any possible moment. i usually try to avoid eye contact but sometimes it’s just impossible and when i say that they gaze, i really mean that they just hold your eyes for as long as humanly possible in the midst of a busy restaurant. i feel like the intense gaze is meant to convey some hugely important message, but what it could be, only god knows.
more to the point, though, if i lived here i would undoubtedly be going on numerous arranged, chaperoned dates until the “one” appeared and i was compelled into tying the knot. the wedding date would also undoubtedly be in the very near future, and likely against my wishes.
why can’t the answer to the question of whether or not i have a boyfriend just be, “no, and i don’t want one”? i’ve now been arranged by two separate individuals with two boys with whom i am apparently to meet when i return to canada. no matter that i’ve never met them, no matter that we might not get along, or be attracted to each other, or live in close proximity (hey, y’all live in the same country!) or any number of problems that might arise – i was simply asked to pass along some general info (what i study, where i’m working, where i live, my age, etc.) for their general edification and was given some of their basic details in return. one of my grand-aunts even told me straight up, “well, don’t expect the boy to be handsome, because he’s not, but the good looking ones are cheaters anyway and this one is very guai, very good and obedient, and comes from a wonderful family…” after which she proceeded to lecture me on the various principles of chinese women, which i’ve narrowed down to the following salient points:
- you’re old, marry soon
- above all, marry a chinese
- the family is paramount
- attraction is irrelevant
- you’re old, marry now
well then. my answer is: i don’t want to get married! not any time in the remotely foreseeable future, at any rate. and i certainly don’t want to be setup with random men! i’m busy, have a life of my own, can barely handle all the work i have to do and if i had a boyfriend, something would have to give, and i wouldn’t let it be any of my goals… so there! gahh!!!!