it’s only monday…

right about now i’m feeling extremely accomplished, although i’m only halfway there, so i really shouldn’t.  a lot of it has to do with the fact that i woke up early and an attended my management class for the first time in a couple weeks; turned in my case study a full 8 hours early (yes, it’s that major); went to lunch with a friend but somehow summoned the monumental restraint required to say “no” to a suggestion of shopping, and went and worked on my presentation instead (due wednesday!); had a busy, productive, and social day at work; made it home on the bus without falling asleep (and therefore avoided spending an extra 2 hours on the bus getting home, which yes, i did that last week at 1am); managed to summon even more powers of resistance to forego a much-desired trip to ten ren; worked even more on my powerpoint (yes, with lebowski); wrote parts of the finals my kids are taking at the end of this week; and (wheew!) am now blogging for the second day in a row.  darn it, i am just kickin’ some butt today ^^

actually, i don’t even need to be spending so much effort on my presentation.  in the terms of my management class, i am having some problems delegating.  i do have a partner, but i just don’t trust her to do the work.  it’s not her; it’s me.  with most things, i don’t prepare much at all, “winging” it is really a natural state; with presentations, though, i just have to have this done right, because i am utterly terrified of giving presentations.  i know what you’re thinking: i teach, so what’s the big deal?  well, there is a HUGE difference between talking to people who are open, receptive and years younger than you, where there is this acknowledgment of your (the teacher’s) superiority; and talking to your peers, who will learn over the course of your presentation that you really don’t know anything you’re talking about, that it’s all a facade and you’re just full of shit. (“you” = me.)  well anyway, the outcome is that i’ve done the entire presentation (more or less) by myself.  even when we’re together, i end up doing it all.  i can’t help it.  i know i can come off as being an underachiever at times, someone who’s totally blase about her studies, lagging on doing the work, etc., but it’s really just a front for how much i really do care about doing well and being ultra prepared at all times.  i know tons of people who are not doing the reading anymore.  i know a whole lot who wing their presentations.  i am not one of those people.  i actually feel ultra bad about not doing the reading.  must be some odd english major quirk (flaw).  i do procrastinate a ridiculous amount (although these days, my schedule doesn’t permit it so much), but i always get my work done, and i always do a good job (or so i’d like to think).

well anyway, all this to say: i’m really proud of getting more than half of this presentation done.  now if i can only not pee in my pants when i’m up there, everything will be a-okay…

but to the meat of this post.  i also did another momentous thing today: i bought my first sock yarn from a yarn store (i.e. not michael’s).  the first time you go to a specialty store for anything is a pretty big deal.  it defines a level of commitment heretofore unachieved.  so, i’ve committed.

80% merino wool, 20% nylon

80% merino wool, 20% nylon

with double pointed needles.  please disregard the article on electronic trading...

with double pointed needles. please disregard the article on electronic trading...

i’m thinking about knitting on the bus/train, since it’s virtually impossible to do any reading during that time, and i have almost no time to really devote to knitting socks otherwise. but well… is that too ultra nerdy?  not just nerdy, but… country? domesticated?  reasserting my female shackles?

pooey.  help me out here…


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